


Ivan and the tacky paper umbrellas

by Rose_Milburn



Series: The AU life of Ivan Xav Vorpatril [21]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:21:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29715720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Milburn/pseuds/Rose_Milburn
Summary: Ivan promised to get his knee fixed.
Series: The AU life of Ivan Xav Vorpatril [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1001307
Comments: 38
Kudos: 47





	Ivan and the tacky paper umbrellas

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gwynne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gwynne/gifts).



> Yes, I know I said I was finished, but this one is special as it's for our Gwynne, who has a similar sort of complaint to Ivan's just right now. Get well soon!

Ivan Xav Vorpatril, Count Voralys, sat across the desk from Doctor Drury, chief of Orthopaedic Surgery at New Sheffield District Hospital. Raine, Countess Voralys, was close enough to hold his hand if he needed it. Looking at the doctor's face, Ivan thought he was going to be needing his wife sooner, rather than later.

"You don't have to sugar-coat things, Doctor Drury. Just come right out and tell me."

Doctor Drury looked at him, and back at the scans on the console beside her. She opened her mouth, shut it again and shook her head. Finally, she gave vent to her feelings. "You've been putting up with this for how long did you say, my lord count? Twenty five years? Has anyone ever told you you're a bloody idiot?"

Ivan heard Raine's sharp intake of breath, and a matching gasp from Price, his armsman, over by the door. He rubbed a hand across his face and considered his answer. "Not for a good few years now, not counting my wife, but yes, it has been known."

Dr Drury was decidedly not mollified. "You've had access to the best of the best galactic medicine. You have your own first class facility here, right on your doorstep. New Sheffield District Hospital is famous across the nexus for its high standards. We have interns from Beta doing their specialised training here now, especially in the burns unit, but Orthopaedics isn't far behind, and yet you've been walking around half-crippled. Why?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I've just been too busy. At the time, I was more worried about my son than I was about me. One thing after another kept cropping up. There's always one damn thing after another with a District to run. I guess I just became used to it. And then—" The still-raw grief clutched at him again, and he had to swallow. "My cousin died, as you know."

Raine reached over to hold his hand in a firm grasp. Her eyes were filled with concern as she looked at him before she turned to the doctor.

"My husband is exhausted, Dr Drury. He's been doing three people's work for months now. The only way to get him to rest is going to be tying him to a hospital bed. He should have seen you sooner than this, granted, but he's here now."

The doctor's face softened. "He must have the constitution of an ox and the heart of a lion, is all I can say." She turned back to Ivan. "Don't you realise, sir, how very much you're loved in this District? We're all worried to death about you. You don't remember me, do you? Not that I expect you would, but I'm Jenny."

The plaque on her desk did say Dr J Drury. Ivan racked his brains. "No, I'm sorry, Doctor, I can't say that I— wait a minute. Jenny Drury? Little Jenny? Your mother is called Violette, isn't she?"

"You do remember! On the steps of the District House where you gave me fifty marks. I've never forgotten. I had the worst case of hero worship for years."

He'd ignored Raine for the moment, sitting amused but bewildered beside him. He hurried to explain. "When I first came to the District as count, when Captain Fenerty was killed, so many people left flowers on the steps. I happened to be there when Madame Drury brought Jenny and…and—"

"Peter," the doctor obliged. "He's Lieutenant-Colonel Peter Drury these days, Imperial Medical Corps."

"Is, he? What a brilliant family! Anyway, Raine, I chatted to Madame Drury for a moment or two. I gave some money to Jenny to buy ice cream at the park."

"That ice cream money fed the family for two nights, my lord count, with change. You saw that we'd been hungry. Apart from that, a Fenerty scholarship paid my way through medical school in Vorbarr Sultana. I loved my five years' obligatory service here so much I never went back to the big smoke."

The doctor's outline blurred just a little. He was getting way too maudlin in his old age and had to blink away the sudden moisture. "I'm glad something good came out of that whole damn mess."

"I'll never forget." Dr Drury turned back to the matter at hand. "I can operate next week. The sooner it's done the sooner you can start rehab. It'll take six weeks, two of which you will spend doing absolutely nothing else but rest and your exercise program, and I don't want to hear any arguments. I'd recommend Vandeville at this time of year. The Galactic Hotel is first rate, and they have an annex at the hot springs. It would be perfect for your treatment."

He opened his mouth to object, but Raine shut him off with ruthless determination. "What a brilliant idea! We both know what he'll do if he stays here, or in Vorbarr Sultana. How is it you can operate so quickly, though, Doctor? Don't you need to grow the cartilage grafts?"

Dr Drury's face brightened. "Lessons were learned after Prime Minister Vorkosigan became so ill all those years ago. We have several major organs of yours already grown and in cryostasis, my lord count. We also have knee joints. It will only take three days to revive one and check it out. It's the same for the emperor and most public figures. Didn't you know?"

Ivan felt vaguely horrified. "You have replacement organs on ice? My organs?"

She smiled again. "We certainly do. The oldest one is your liver, of course. That was grown in a hurry because you weren't a major public figure at the time, but once you became a count the harvested stem cells were grown up into a—what would you call it? A strategic reserve. Vice Admiral Waleska initiated your programme."

"Wally never said a word to me, but it's typical of the man."

Raine clutched his hand again, remembering her step father, no doubt. Her voice sounded slightly faint as Ivan grappled with the knowledge of bits of his flesh and blood being kept as a strategic reserve. She answered for him.

"That's very unexpected, but very welcome news. We thought we were going to be cutting it fine for Winterfair, but that's still nine weeks away. Ivan can dance the mazurka at the bonfire ball."

A flash of alarm crossed the doctor's face. "Well, maybe a mirror dance. A slow one. I don't want to be replacing another knee any time soon."

Arrangements were soon made. It had been a fair few years since Ivan had last felt like a snowball, rolling downhill towards his doom faster and faster, with no way to stop it, but the morning of his surgery arrived with the inexorability of a crippled battleship being sucked into a black hole. Oh, maybe he shouldn't have thought of the crippled analogy. He rubbed his sore knee as he lay on the float pallet, waiting to be whisked into surgery. Raine held his hand. He felt the lull of the synergine as it entered his system to calm his nerves.

Raine kissed him. "You don't have to say anything. Padma and Price have everything under control. All you'll have to do when you wake up is get better. Everyone has sent their regards."

"Raine, I—"

She shushed him with a finger across his lips. "I know you love me, heart of my heart. I'll see you in three hours. You're not going to turn up your toes just yet. No fond goodbyes."

He was a coward. Miles had had the whole of his insides replaced, and all his bones. He'd borne it all with no complaint, until the last, his only fear that of dying alone in his bed. Ivan sucked in a deep breath. Ivan's fear was death itself. There was too much left to do. Gregor needed him. He'd said so. "Let's get on with it, then."

Something was wrong. He could smell blood, and there was pain when he tried to move as his knee screamed at him. Oh, God. Alex, and Padma. He remembered now. Harper! Where was Harper?

He tried to sit up. "Harper? Where are you? To me, man, to me! I've got the boys."

"Ssh, Ivan. You're safe. You're in the hospital. You're in New Sheffield."

That was Raine's voice. He'd know it anywhere. "Raine? What's happened. Where's Harper?" He wrenched his eyes open at last, struggling upwards from the nightmare. There were others around him, too. Price held him down. Ivan blinked. What had happened to Price?

Reality crashed back. Price had grown old, and Harper…Harper had been dead these twenty five years. Ivan was drugged up to the eyeballs, he could tell, but that wound had never healed. Harper had died saving his sorry hide. He couldn't hold his eyes open, but there were more voices, telling him he was safe, telling him not to worry. He wasn't the idiot around here. They all were. Not to worry?

Perforce, he lay back, trying to control his ragged breathing as the terror slowly ebbed away. Someone wiped a cool, medicated cloth across his face. Eventually he focussed, although his eyelids were so heavy. It was Dr Drury looking down at him, eyes alight with concern behind her surgical scrubs. "Everything went very well. You've got nothing more to worry about, my lord count. All you need to do now is get better. The rest of your family is out in the waiting room. I'll go and let them know you're recovering." She squeezed his shoulder, obviously not convinced that he understood her. "It's all over, sir. You're as good as new, or will be."

Raine took her place as the doctor left. She leaned over to kiss him soundly. "What's wrong, Ivan? Didn't you hear the doctor? It's all over."

Didn't they understand? It was never going to be all over. Nothing was going to bring Harper back.

It was Price who realised first. Ivan felt his callused palm hold tight to his own hand. His armsman dropped to one knee to talk quietly for his ear alone. "Can you hang on, sir? I'll organise some help for you. I know who you need to talk to. You rest, now. I'll be right here."

There was light in the room when his eyes opened again, and the florists in New Sheffield must have had a bumper day's trading. Blooms of every size and hue were crammed into all the available shelves and spaces. He woke peacefully this time, in full command of his senses. Price was still there beside him, slumped in a chair beside the bed.

Raine was there, too. "Ssh. Don't wake Price. He refused point blank to stand down. Walton and Nicevich are here to relieve him, but he's having none of it until you say so."

She rose from her own chair and bent over to kiss him. There was nothing wrong with his arms. Ivan wrapped her up and pulled her down beside him. "What's all the fuss about?"

She pulled back to stare at him. "Isn't that just like you? Don't you remember? You had some sort of reaction that was more than one of your nightmares. Dr Drury thinks it was maybe the anaesthetic, or the pain in your knee triggered something. She mentioned PTSD." Raine stopped to run her fingers through his hair, her voice tender and her eyes alight with sympathy. "I'm so sorry. I thought you'd put that behind you, Ivan. None of it was your fault."

He shrugged. "No sense worrying you with it when there was nothing you could do. Who sent all the flowers?"

Raine allowed him to change the subject. "Half of New Sheffield and a good part of Vorbarr Sultana, by the looks. This is only the tip of the iceberg. We're filling up every ward in the hospital. There's a clerk recording every delivery and will issue an official thankyou. She's saving all the messages and pictures into albums for you to look at later.. We'll send as many as we can with you to Vandeville, but it'll only be a tiny fraction of them."

Just a minute! "Send? Don't you mean 'bring'? Aren't you coming?"

Raine shook her head. "Not until the weekend. I know Padma is going to be fine but I want to make sure it all goes smoothly here. I've got an escort organised for you. There's a sergeant major to make sure you do your rehab. Two of them, in fact. Well, one of them was a master sergeant, but it amounts to the same thing."

Price woke just then. Ivan was still processing the disappointment of Raine not coming with him to worry overmuch which drill sergeant Raine had borrowed from Gregor. Price put him through an inquisition worthy of ImpSec before he excused himself to change and find some breakfast for them both. Walton junior took over the watch from him. Raine popped out too, to answer a call on her wristcom.

It was the expression on his newest armsman's face that alerted Ivan to the fact the two visitors Raine ushered in weren't just any old visitors. Old, maybe, but definitely not strangers. Walton sprang to attention as his father came into the room, ex-armsman Fox hot on his heels. Ivan hadn't seen either of them for a few months, now.

Walton had always been the more taciturn one of the two, but this morning he did the talking. "Good morning, my lord count. Leave you alone for one minute and look what happens! Fox and I received an invitation we couldn't turn down from m'lady, so we'll be taking you to Vandeville. Have you had your breakfast? Time's ticking."

Fox just grinned as he shook Ivan's hand. His hair was noticeably grey now, his face lined and his posture not quite the old braced back of years gone by, but Fox was no old man, even in his eighties, much as he claimed the title. He still appeared fit and alert, and his eyes held their normal shrewd intelligence. Ivan had never been so glad to see anyone in his whole life, apart from the time Raine came back from Beta.

Walton clapped Fox on the back before he could speak and went on. "Fiona can't abide me being retired and under her feet and there's only so many roses a man can grow, after all. Fox and I both got a leave pass for two weeks. Time and enough to get you back on your feet, sir. I'm quite looking forward to those hot springs."

Ivan pulled his sheets over his head. "Raine wasn't joking about a sergeant major, was she?" There wasn't going to be any time for him to lie around feeling sorry for himself with these two on his back. Where was Price with his breakfast? Every condemned man was granted a hearty meal, and he'd starved all day yesterday what with the fasting and the operation and the drugs and what not.

Price's cheerful voice roused him from his sulk. "Look who else is here, sir!" His room was going to be crowded, at this rate. The smell of the coffee rather than the lure of another visitor brought him out of the blankets.

Price was a sneaky devil. Ivan just stared at the man who had walked in. "What the hell are you doing here? You've only been retired for a month, you idiot. You should be growing roses."

Enzo Devaux bowed to Raine and went around the cramped room to shake hands with everyone present. Devaux finally stopped beside Ivan's bedside and took his hand. "And a very good morning to you, too, my lord count. Price called and told me that you needed me. Juliet is off on a visit to Dono and Byerly so I don't have anyone to answer to at the moment. I can be retired at Vandeville just as well as I can at Rotherhall, can't I? Plus I won't have to cook for myself."

"You're all looking forward to a huge treat, aren't you? Sadists, all three of you. What did I ever do to you?" It had to be time for his medication, surely? His head hurt.

Raine tried hard to hide a smile. "Don't be so ungrateful, Ivan! They've all come to help out of the goodness of their hearts. You know you've missed them."

Damn. His eyes were playing up again.

Devaux's grip on his hand tightened. "Truth to tell, I've been missing you, sir. You're the only one who really understands me."

It was a very kind way of saying that Devaux understood what he was going through, but it was nearly his undoing and he had to turn his face away to bite down on his lip.

There was a sudden bustle in the room. He could hear Price snapping out orders. "Walton, take your father and armsman Fox out to the transport and check all the baggage and flowers are stowed away properly. Armsman Devaux and I will escort the count once he's had his meal. You and Nicevich will take over escort for my lady once we leave. Nicevich will answer any questions you have, so be sure to ask."

Ivan had to surrender to the inevitable and submit to the indignity of a float chair when he finally made it out to the flyer, parked in the hospital forecourt, no doubt much to the inconvenience of the general populace. At least they'd let him have his breakfast first. With one last kiss goodbye Raine saw him off. Ivan watched as she turned away to wipe her eyes before resolutely waving until he lost sight of her. It was only four days, and Padma needed his mother. Well, that was all well and good. "I want my wife, and look what I get instead. You lot!"

Walton grinned at him. "Cheer up. If you don't like it you shouldn't have joined."

"I had absolutely no say in the matter. All I ever wanted—"

They all joined in the chorus. "Was a quiet life."

Fox went on. "We have strict orders from her ladyship. Seal up your leg, throw you in the hot pool for some hydrotherapy, then lay you out on a sun lounge with a fruity, girly drink with a tacky paper umbrella in it."

"A tacky paper umbrella? She said that?"

Fox just shrugged. "That's what she said, sir. And you're to do nothing else. No work. You're to save all your energy for when she gets there."

He said it with a perfectly straight face. Ivan couldn't think of a thing to say in reply. He could see Price's reflection from the pilot's seat in the two-way monitor. He had a perfectly straight face as well. They all did.

Walton was the first to crack. "You've got four days to get all the sleep you can, sir. Things might get busy after that, once her ladyship gets to Vandeville."

He should be so lucky. "What, with a crook knee?"

"It's not your knee she'll be worried about, is it, sir? Think of it as motivation for your exercises."

"Don't be—"

"What? Insubordinate? I'm not your subordinate any more, my lord count. You're just one of the lads, now. You can still order Price around, if you feel the need. The rest of us, you have to ask nicely. You kneed us, after all."

Fox flexed his own right knee. "I'll be able to watch what your therapy is like. I might be kneeding it myself. You could say it's a joint issue."

Devaux called through from the front cabin where he was keeping Price company. "Don't listen to those two, sir. Forget all about them. Pretend you have amkneesia."

Ivan could only groan. It was going to be a very long way to Vandeville. "What else have you got up your sleeves to torture me with?"

Walton extracted a bottle of pills and a drink from the side compartment. "Don't you worry about any of that, sir. It's on a kneed to know basis, and right now all you kneed is your meds."

Walton was still good at ducking.

For all the fun at his expense Ivan didn't have to lift a finger when they arrived. Retired or not, they were all still his armsmen. They had him whisked out of the flyer, safely ensconced in a luxury grav bed and left to some peace and quiet in a dim room all before lunch, with only Price to stand guard as he snoozed. The three wisecracking men fanned out to do a security sweep of the whole resort. Before he fell asleep Ivan tried to remember what Miles had told him about the place. He'd never been to these hot springs himself, but his cousin had waxed lyrical about them. Typically for Vandeville the sky was cerulean blue, the air balmy without being too humid, and the tropical vegetation outside his window was bright with hibiscus and strelitzia in vivid reds, oranges and yellows. Huge frangipani trees shed white blossoms to carpet the ground. The meds he was on didn't hurt, either. He could feel himself relaxing as he drifted off. There was nothing to worry about with Fox and Walton guarding his back. He'd missed them both, more than he could say. Devaux, too, although he was more part of the family these days, being stepfather to Dono and Byerly's nieces and nephew and uncle to Belpierre and Dono's gaggle of offspring, not to mention Dono and By being uncles to his own three children.

It was Devaux who woke him up for lunch, his eyes keenly assessing as Ivan surfaced from his sleep. "I thought you were finished with those nightmares, Ivan. Price told me it was a bad one. Harper would want you to forgive yourself. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, forgiving myself for losing my men. It's time now though, for you."

It had taken Ivan a month to persuade Devaux to use his first name, but he only did it when there was no-one but family present, or when they were on their own, like this. Ivan had to struggle, too. "It's not a rational thing, Enzo. I think it was the pain in my knee that brought it all back this time. I don't want to forget Harper, but I don't want to remember him like that, either."

Devaux laughed. "You should think of him in that ridiculous calendar we did for the clinic in Prestwich. He peacocked around for weeks when it first came out. He always was the show pony out of your first score. I can't think how many times he was asked for an autograph by some randy Betan on a tour. It was a shame the way they were wasting their time. He never let it interfere with his work, though. He was a damn good armsman, for all that."

Devaux grasped his shoulder. "Think of the happy times. You eat your lunch, and think of him wrangling those damned cats. That should bring a smile to your face. After that Fox and Walton are going to put you into the hot pool once I get this giant condom on your leg."

The mind boggled but the description was fairly apt as Ivan watched Devaux roll the rubber tubing up his leg like an old-fashioned silk stocking to completely enclose the operation site with a waterproof layer. Fox took one of his arms and Walton the other over their shoulders and hauled him bodily into the blissfully hot water.

Walton had the exercises all worked out. "All you do today is float on your back and turn up your toes. We'll do three repeats of ten."

"What's this we business? I don't see you doing it!" It was hard to maintain his bad mood, with Fox and Walton totally impervious to his foul temper. Once he was done they hauled him back up the access ramp again to a well-padded sun lounger. Fox deftly removed the leg condom as Devaux came over with a tray.

Ivan couldn't let this…this abomination go past. "Devaux, what in three hells have you got there?"

Devaux must have been practising his poker face. "Rainbow Paradise cocktails times four, my lord. Grenadine, pineapple juice with rum and topped with blue curaçao. Price is on duty so he misses out. You're allowed one, so make it last. The rest of us can have as many as we like." 

"You weren't actually joking about the tacky paper umbrellas, were you?" Ivan couldn't take his eyes off them: purple, green, orange and magenta, with flowers printed on them in the other three colours. And straws? What sort of a man drank out of a straw? Ye gods! "And is that orange slices in them? Where's the maple mead? Anything would be preferable."

Devaux shook his head. "Countess's orders, my lord count. There's orange and pineapple in them. She told me you hated mint, so I left that out. Sun's over the yardarm, after all, and you're only having that one water session today. It's time to relax."

Fox and Walton had towelled off and dragged over their own sun loungers, plus one for Devaux, to form a rough square. Fox sipped on his cocktail with perfect aplomb as he stretched out his legs and lay back. "How the other half lives, eh, Walton?"

Walton had produced a pair of sunglasses. It was impossible to see the expression in his eyes, but Ivan could just imagine it. "Apart from the bung knee any one of us could be the count. Don't you think?"

Price had crept up on them without Ivan noticing, although the other three of them had seen him, of course. Price took a series of holovids before Ivan could do the first thing about it. "The countess is expecting a report, my lord. She'll be calling at 1700 hours."

It seemed like years since he'd sat around with friends and chatted about nothing in particular. Price kept a benevolent eye on them all as the sun started to dip towards the horizon. Devaux topped up the drinks from time to time. After the first round Ivan's was fruit juice only, but for a girly drink his one Rainbow Paradise had packed enough of a punch for him to deal with when combined with his meds. He barely noticed the pineapple juice apart from being glad it wasn't apple juice. He never wanted to drink another apple juice as long as he lived.

Someone propped a tray of dinner in front of him, and then somehow it was black dark and time for them to pour him back into his bed. Devaux whistled cheerfully as he supervised the evening ablutions, tucked him up and retired to a fold-down bed in the corner of the room.

"Are you going to stay here all night, Enzo? Don't you have your own bed to go to?"

Devaux's white teeth gleamed in the shadows. "We thought it best, just for the first few nights until we see how you go. I got the short straw."

"Like hell you did," Ivan grumbled under his breath. Enzo had probably fought the others off for the privilege. Still, if he did wake up screaming he'd rather have Enzo there than anyone. It was reassuring, somehow.

Ivan had always encouraged his people to be frank with him, but Fox took it just one step beyond. He refrained from calling his liege lord an idiot, but he wasn't far off. On the morning Raine was due to arrive he wangled a few minutes alone. "Do you realise, sir, we've been here four days, and by the logs you've spent three of them asleep? Look at this log for yesterday. 0900 wake up. 0930 breakfast, 1000 snooze. 1100 work out in the pool. 1130 snooze. 1400 lunch. 1430 snooze. 1600 second work out. 1630 sleep. 1900 dinner. 1930 holovid with the four of us, 2130 bed."

"I do seem to have needed some rest, don't I?"

Fox folded his arms and waited. Ivan sighed. "I'm exhausted. I haven't been taking care of myself. I need to wind back. I need to delegate."

"Now you're getting the idea. We've been so worried these past few days, sir. Time was you could dance from dusk to dawn and put in a day's work three hours later. That was then. This is now, and the emperor is going to be a hard taskmaster. Walton, Devaux and I aren't going to be able to help you after these two weeks, once you go back to New Sheffield, or Vorbarr Sultana. I've told Price to nail one of your feet to the floor if he has to. If you won't slow down for your own sake, won't you do it for us?"

Fox was eighty-two years old, and much as he was willing to do it he'd been uprooted from his quiet life in Rotherhall to come and be a nursemaid. He deserved better. He shouldn't be worrying about anything else other than his own family. Ivan leaned over and pulled him into a hug. He spoke into his shoulder. "Marcus, you're perfectly right. I'm sorry, really I am. I give you my word as Voralys I'll take better care of myself."

Fox pulled away after a moment or two. "That's all any of us want, sir. Both Count Aral and Count Miles died too early. They worked themselves into the ground. Don't be like them."

Count Ivan Vorpatril Voralys, Emperor Gregor Vorbarra's newest Lord Auditor, could feel his armsman's gaze boring into his back as he took the floor at the Winterfair bonfire ball. It was a mirror dance, a slow one at that. His countess smiled brilliantly up at him.

"I'm so glad I've got my old Ivan back, and I'm not talking about your knee."

Ivan flexed the offending limb. "I don't know why I didn't have it done years ago. Somebody should have said something." He grinned, waiting for the storm to break but Raine only swatted at him. "Hey, that's not part of the dance."

"I love you, Ivan Xav Vorpatril Voralys."

To hell with not touching, and to hell with Price's nannying. Ivan grabbed Raine into his arms and twirled her around. "I love you too, Valeraine Amelie Vorfolse Voralys. Let's dance."

**Author's Note:**

> Rainbow paradise cocktail 
> 
> https://www.pinterest.com.au/micenko/the-au-adventures-of-ivan-vorpatril/illustrations/


End file.
